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11月29日 A Matter of Personal ChoiceOoooomg
Okay, I'm having the most damn stupid crisis of conscience at the moment :P
Tomorrow (Wednesday 30th) is Malaki's last day at work, so the girls and I are planning to take him out for a surprise dinner. Which is fine... UNTIL you factor in the news that Futurama is on at 7:30, and I love that show soooo much.
Yeah, stupid, I know. And the choice isn't even really that hard. Malaki is one of the greatest guys I've ever worked with, and Futurama is just some cartoon show that I can buy on dvd for $12 from the italian kid down the road. Hmm, okay, I think I just talked some sense into myself with that. Dinner it is!
*changes topic*
Seemingly the great news of today is the birth of the Hewitt-Cartwright baby (as yet, nameless). So, needless to say, it was the topic of discussion at work between Katrina, Michaela and I. We were trying to figure out appropriate names for the celebrity child; names that will suit her inevitably bitchy, unfortunate life.
Michaela promptly put her hands on her hips, sighed dramatically, and spouted, "I think the perfect name for her would be 'Publicity'." Succinct and accurate. 'Fanny', 'Prissy' and 'Urine' (pronounced yoo-reen) also rated highly.
Oh, and I just realised... I still have to get around to doing my Christmas shopping. Damn... I'm in trouble, heh heh. I'm thinking I might buy myself a dream-interpretation book (yeah, I don't believe in getting other people to buy me stuff), since... well... yeah, I've been having a recurring dream that is SO damn vivid and clear I'm almost to the point of calling it a 'vision' (were I one to believe in prophetic fags of course, lol). And the last few days, unexplainable things have been happening that DIRECTLY reference the dream, which I have only told ONE person (Wesley) about, and even he doesn't know all the details as clearly as they've been shown to me. That's all I'm gonna say, because it IS a far-out claim to be making.... if you're interested, ask me about it, and I might tell you more :P
That's all for now, me thinks. Heads up all, talk soon!
Pete
xxx 11月6日 "...They come not single spies, but in batallions!"Thank God for Shakespeare and that quote, lol. I love
that scene from Hamlet, it's so horribly blunt and honest. Well the
bits you can actually understand of it, heh heh. Anyway, this mini-update is really to just get a couple of ideas out of my head. I went out last night, and on the way home this morning, the words just started coming to me about everything that had happened (and the memories that go with them), and until I get them out, they won't go away. So here goes; two short free-verse poems: I don't quite remember his words exactly, But I thought I heard the sound of 'goodbye' in his voice. And I wore that sound like a heavy black cloak, until I could at last wear it no longer. I placed the cloak on my mantlepiece, sat next to it, ... and wept. And number two: They sit upon the sunburnt grass, beneath a frail canopy of everything their minds remember. With shaking hands and bloodshot eyes they smile at me; without rhyme or reason they cup their hands on tiny moments of perfection, and whisper quiet stories so deep and meanigful a sober mind could never understand them. And somewhere in the menacing silence it begins, every pill intented to create a better version of oneself. There are some places and times in my life I've been sharply reminded of - and I realise my boundaries a lot clearer now. It's a good thing, though, I think. In a conversation I was having today, I said "I'd put a bullet through my head before I ever suffered that kind of guilt and hopelessness again." And I know it sounds a bit macabre, and - actually - makes me sound like I'm manically depressed and unhappy, but it's quite the contrary. Because I also realised today there are some things (people) that I will fight tooth and nail for, even when it hurts. My heart wants to say a lot of things (a LOT of things) that my brain tells me are irrational: but I feel them anyway, and I feel them passionately. I think that sometimes gets the better of me, and I get a bit carried away, but by god I'm happy I DO feel them. It gives me something tangible to strive for, and I can judge the sincerity and genuine quality of what I feel. And this, I believe, is genuine. Much love, as always, Peter xxx 11月4日 And on the stage of all the world......heh heh, don't mind the title, just lyrics from a song I'm writing. And it fills the blank space :P So it's probably about time I updated this thing, hey? I've been meaning to do it for a few days now, but I've had hayfever recently (which sucked), and although it's not a very good excuse, it's the best one I can think of at the moment, so it will do :) Life is good at the moment, plain and simple. I am content, which is something I haven't felt in a long time. On one hand it all feels very stagnant, because I haven't seen Josh in around 2 or 3 weeks - and that has a very 'empty' sensation to it. But on the other, I know I'll be seeing him very soon, which I look forward to sooo much that it cancels out any of my worries. If things continue to go well, it'll be the first christmas I've had someone special to buy a present for, which would totally make my day, heh heh. Shells and I finished our 3-day-regime yesterday, which was hilarious. We called each other like 3 times a day just to make sure we were still on track; I'm convinced she did a better job of it than me. Her... I dunno... I guess I'll call him boyfriend, came up from sydney last night, so I'll probably hear/see a bit less of her while they're all obsessed with each other. It's weird how all my issues kept me from really getting to know her in school. I don't even remember how or why we managed to stay in contact after graduation, but I'm so glad we did. She just makes me smile. We 'get' each other, and things make sense, even if it sounds like total shit to somebody else. Cat and I are going to Southbank on Wednesday, hopefully for a swim/sunbake and to catch a movie. I haven't seen as much of her as I would've liked recently, for various reasons. It still seems like there's a lot to catch up on between us, I don't quite know how to describe it. I guess I was worried that her spending a few years up in Mackay would create a big gap between us. I'm glad it hasn't, I don't know what I'd do without her. She was so much support when I was coming out. Oh, and her halloween party was a blast ^_^ Aoife asked me if I wanted to move out of home and in with her, recently. I really don't think it's very practical of me at this stage, but part of me would love to. I'd be in West End, which is about 45 minutes closer to Josh, but I'd be further away from everyone else. Hmph, I think that's about all I can fit in for the moment, as I'm gonna have to start getting ready for work soon :P Take care everyone! Peter xxx |
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